Joyce Adler – Yocheved bat Moshe ve-Manya – July 19, 2015

We’re here today to mourn the passing but also to cherish the life of Joyce Adler, beloved mother, grandmother and cherished friend. While this is a very sad day, it also is true that this was her time to go. She was ready; she had fought the battle for a long time and she didn’t have any more fight in her. She was emotionally and psychologically ready and she was at peace. We should be at peace, too, and just as she asked us to let her go, we should let her go.

But we have plenty to hold onto, plenty to remember and think about. She lived a good life.

She was born in Brooklyn on June 11, 1933 and graduated Woodburn High School and then went to secretarial school. She was raised with her younger sister Adele with whom she would always be close. We offer our condolences to Adele on this sad day; she has known Joyce her whole life and this is a special sadness for her. We also mourn with Adele’s children Bonnie and Robert.

Joyce helped in the family grocery store. Her family owned a Bungalow colony in the Catskills, and that was where she met a certain young man. The stories about how Dick met Joyce are just charming; his cows liked to wander and graze and he followed them to where she lived. When he would come knocking on her window at 6 o’clock in the morning, her father would say: “That meshugenneh is here again.” They had a small wedding in Monticello 1953 in the Rabbi’s house. She worked as a legal secretary while Dick was in college. Eventually they moved to North Haven and they lived for forty years on Pool Rd. They were married nearly sixty years. At the end of his life, Dick wasn’t scared or worried for himself, but he was worried about Joyce. Isn’t that what love is, to worry about the one you love more than you worry about yourself?

In 1967, Joyce had Marcie and she has been the light of her life. Marcie had a great mother who taught her how to live and be and care. Marcie really has been the best, loyal and caring and always there, no matter what. If Marcie was involved in it, Joyce was involved in it, in everything she did. Joyce was a leader for Marcie in Brownies and Girl Scouts. She was very involved in Girl Scouts cookies; there are legends about what this family did.

Joyce was a wonderful grandmother to Keith and Eliana. And I want to say to the kids: She loved each of you and she knew how much you loved her.

There are many wonderful memories. The happiest are the two Disney cruises.

A very special day in her life was Ellie’s Bat Mitzvah ceremony. It took a big effort for her to get there and be there, but it was worth it. I will always remember the pride and joy on her face that morning

Joyce was a good mother-in-law to Kris and there was a real closeness. Considering all the mother-in-law jokes, which are based on the fact that the mother-in-law, son-in-law relationship is often fraught with tension, Chris is sort of amazed how much he liked his mother in law.

She played Mah jongg religiously. Knitting was her hobby, and she made lots of hats for babies. She kept photo albums.

Her friendships were for life and part of the reason was that she told the truth and there was nothing hidden. She was not a fair weather friend; she was as all weather friend (I think I just made that phrase up).

Friends like Linda Bernstein and Gail Harris and Chris Doran can attest to the good, understanding relationships she had with them.

She was very polite. She was strong; you did what she expected you to do; you just did it. She was a good Jewish mother who knew how to evoke guilt.

She could be strategic about how she played things.

To Marcie, Adele and the whole family, we wish you G-d’s comfort at this difficult time. Joyce was a very loving, generous, kind person who really cared for and about people. May she rest in peace. Let us say Amen.