Book of Memories

So Irene was talking to a friend, and she just got quiet, and she was gone. She died like she lived, always in the middle of a conversation. But it’s hard, because we feel like we still have so much to say. Today is the day we get to say some of these things.

Irene was born in Brooklyn, NY. on April 6, 1933. She was the daughter of Jacob and Lillian Kahn.

She went to school and then met Sid. They first met when he was 32 and Irene was 15. Sid was driving a convertible. She was so young that Sid didn’t look at her. Four years later in December 1953, they danced the night away. Sid told Irene, “I’ll give you a call when the snow melts.” And he did. By the way, I’ve never understood that story: Did they live at the North Pole? Anyway, they were married 57 ½ years. Over those years, they had a number of wedding rings. But none more meaningful at least in my mind than the ones they were wearing at the end of Sid’s life. Irene had picked one up at a toy store for about three dollars and Sid said he’d like a matching one. The point is that a love like this is symbolized by those three-dollar rings, because it wasn’t the value of the ring, it was the value of their love for each other that made those rings beautiful expressions and symbols. They traveled a lot, to Israel, Spain, Italy Canada and Maine, often traveling with friends in the summers. Right to the end of Sid’s life, they were together. In that last stage, Irene took him every place no matter how hard it was. (more…)

We’re here today to mourn the sudden and unexpected passing of David Engel, beloved husband, father, brother, grandfather and cherished friend.

It’s hard to understand all this. It’s hard to figure out what we’re doing here. David was so full of life, so full of enthusiasm, so full of love. He was working just a little over a week ago. It’s hard to understand that this has really happened. If you know Dave’s medical history, you know that medical science gave him almost four decades more than he would have had at another time. He had his first heart attack 39 years ago. So intellectually, we are gratified that he was able to live all these years. But emotionally, we wanted him around for several more decades. This is very hard to bear. But as hard as this is, it’s our task to think about his life and value the way he lived it.

Dave was born at Fort Bragg, North Carolina on June 17, 1944, the son of Rabbi Mayer & Myra Engel. Since his father was a Chaplain, he grew up in several different places, including Philadelphia, Beverley, Massachusetts and Heidelberg, Germany. He had his Bar Mitzvah ceremony in Jerusalem. (more…)

We’re here today to mourn the passing but also to honor the life of Joyce Brown, beloved mother, sister, grandmother, great-grandmother and cherished friend. Joyce has struggled with medical problems for a long time now, she had nine lives, but she finished her ninth life, and it was time to go. But she lived all those nine lives to the fullest.

She was born Regina Joyce Feldman in New Haven, June 10, 1926, a daughter of the late Newton & Adele Feldman and sister of Doris, Buddy, Jackie and Elinore. She would always be close to her sisters and brother. We mourn today with Buddy, and we wish Doris well. She visited Doris in Florida in July, 2014 and that was a wonderful and meaningful trip.

She graduated high school, Hillhouse Class of 44. (more…)

We’re here today to mourn the passing but also to cherish the life of Joyce Adler, beloved mother, grandmother and cherished friend. While this is a very sad day, it also is true that this was her time to go. She was ready; she had fought the battle for a long time and she didn’t have any more fight in her. She was emotionally and psychologically ready and she was at peace. We should be at peace, too, and just as she asked us to let her go, we should let her go.

But we have plenty to hold onto, plenty to remember and think about. She lived a good life. (more…)

We’re here today to honor the life of Julie Hyatt, beloved father, brother, grandfather, great-grandfather, veteran, businessman, a founder of this community, collector of the most golf balls in world history, a terrific talker, an astonishing remember-er of every detail of his life, cherished friend, and really good guy.

I usually start a eulogy by saying that we are here to mourn the passing of the person, but I’m trying not to see this as a time for mourning. Julie made the decision to go. It was a long time in coming, but he saw this as his time to go, and so should we. We weren’t happy with his decision, but eventually, I think everyone close to him realized that since it was the right thing to him, it must be the right thing for him. A person has their integrity as a person, and I do not mean honesty but their sense of self. And everything in Julie told him that it was time, and we should respect this. (more…)

Shirley Granoff, beloved sister and aunt and treasured friend, was born almost exactly 92 years ago in New Haven on Dec. 25, 1921.. She was raised by her beloved parents Benjamin and Rose with her sisters Ida and Anne.. She graduated from Commercial High School and over the course of her career worked for several retailers, J. J. Johnson Men’s Clothing that became Kennedy’s and she worked for Savitt Jewelers.

The biggest part of Shirley’s life was her marriage of 68 years to Lenny. What a wonderful devoted couple they were for every one of those years. There are many wonderful memories. Lenny and Shirley did a lot of wonderful traveling, to Israel, Hawaii, and Mexico, to California and Alaska.
They loved going to the beach, loved their cottage at East Haven at Silver Sands and there is a priceless picture of the four brothers standing behind the four wives sitting like queens on beach chairs. (more…)

We’re here today, in the sanctuary that he loved, in the shul where he was so important and so respected, to honor the life and mourn the passing of Milton Caplan, beloved husband, father, brother, grandfather and cherished friend. As most of us know, Milt has battled sickness, and he has been very brave, but now it was just too much and he has succumbed. We respect him for the way he fought but even more for the life that he lived.

He was raised by his parents Morris and Diana, whom he always praised. Milt grew up with his younger brother Lawrence who has so many wonderful memories of Milt. One of my favorites is the origin of the nickname Mickey for Milt. It turns out that one of Milt’s first possessions was a baby spoon with Mickey Mouse on it. So one of Milt’s first words was Mickey. And that’s the origin of Milt’s nickname. The two brothers slept in the same room and Milt taught him how to drive. Lawrence and Helene have been important people in Milt’s life and he and Patti have been important in theirs. We wish Lawrence the best of health. There are a number of people here today who have known Milt since elementary school or high school. Thank you for being such good friends for a lifetime. (more…)

So I get off the plane from Israel and come to see Phyllis. And she says, “What are you going to say about me?” I’m not sure anyone ever asked me that before. But I’ve known Phyllis for thirty years and I look her in the eye and say, “Phyllis, you’re going to go out like a queen.” And she gave a big smile, and I knew that was the word she wanted to hear.

So ladies and gentlemen, you think you’ve come here for a funeral, but instead you have come to the coronation of Queen Phyllis I, the first and only one of her kind. (more…)

We are here today to mourn the passing but also to honor the life of Dr. Alan J. White. While Alan has had more than his share of medical problems, including a heart-wrenching crisis a few years ago, his death does come as a sudden shock for which we were not prepared. I know that it sounds like a platitude, but we can at least be comforted that he did not go through another period of suffering. Our task today is not to focus on his death but his life, and it was an interesting life full of accomplishment. (more…)

We are here today to mourn the passing but also to honor the life of Edith Sokoloff, beloved mother and grandmother. Edith was 95 going on 96 and she lived a long full life. While we mourn her we also know that this was her time and that life wasn’t life anymore. So we focus today not on her death but her life.

Edith was born in Boston on July 13, 1916, so she was almost 96 years old. She was the daughter of Max and Adela. Edith was the oldest and then came Helen Dolly and Jack. We mourn today with her sister Dolly and remember the late William, we mourn with her brother Jack and his wife Bessie and we remember her sister Helen with respect today.

She graduated high school. She was working at a cosmetic store and a young man asked her to go get a chicken salad sandwich. (more…)